Sweetkat's Weblog

Inevitably, if you are dating someone worthwhile, you come across your first trip together. For me this can be the dealbreaker. I love to travel and if the trip is spent constantly fighting, well that is a definite turn off.
So while I was looking forward to this trip with excitement, I was also dreading it, very anxious about it. I love my man, who I will call Big C. I knew this trip he’d see all of me, the parts he hadn’t seen. It is like undressing in front of someone for the first time. You’ll hope they like what you see and are scared they won’t.
Anyways…the trip was wonderful on so many levels, and put me at ease. It actually made me more sure of the relationship and how serious it is becoming, actually how serious and stable it is.
First we got the ktx. We went first class which was nice. We got out our mp3 players and settled in. Took some beautiful couple pictures and I fell asleep. So comfortable, no pretense and it was a relaxing ride.
We got to Seoul station and while Seoul is huge, but not bombarded by the overwhelming towers that is New York city. My first impression is that its not as bad as I thought.
Big C and I went to Jeonpu where we were going to find a cheap motel. Unfortunately our taxi driver didn’t understand what we said or refused to listen to what we said. For he drove us near the area, and then turned and went in the opposite direction. Big C told me to relax and just follow the taxi. But what should have been a 5000 won taxi drive turned into 10000 when we both agreed we’d had enough. So we got out, hailed another taxi and called the interpretatin service to make sure we didn’t have the same problem. Because Big C had stayed there before, I followed his lead. That area was lit up with lanterns and many cultural things to see around. We had a nap and
unpacked and then set out to see the big city.
We set out for Yongsan, which is the electronic district of Seoul. Big C wanted to look for Grand Theft Auto 4 and I was thinking of a digital camera. The taxi driver dropped us off near Yongsan but we couldn’t see the electronic mart. However we were right across from the War Memorial which was also on our list so we decided to do that instead.
The memorial is amazing. Great picture taking opportunities. We were lucky they were showing the dead sea scroll exhibit so we took advantage and had a great time.
Then we went to Yongsan. We found the electronic mart and spent a few hours there. But there were nno really great deals so we left somewhat disappointed.
We went back to the hotel. Then we went to look for dinner. There was a huge gathering around but we didn’t know what it was. Assumed it was for the lantern festival. We walked along the river and found Bennigans. We had a great dinner and then called it a night. Not a single fight.
The next day we went for breakfast and then decided to go to Itaewan, the shopping market of seoul. I had heard it had great shopping for westerners, especially overweight ones like myself. i was disappointed. There was little that fit me and what did was too big and too ugly. Then we went to the Palace, which the land is quite beautiful but the temples, buildings all look the same on the outside. We saw a little bit of a korean drama before we left. We went back to the hotel and then out to a pub called the Rocky Mountain Tavern. A great little, Canadian themed pub that was filled with Americans. Big C and I met his friend there and had a great night. I was tired and so we left and went to bed. Did not have a great sleep and we had a slight tiff but it was such a comfortable weekend, that didn’t mar it at all. The next day we went to Seoul tower, I left my souvenirs in the taxi and so that ruined my mood a tiny bit. The view from Seoul tower is amazing. Then I took a picture of all these padlocks that were locked to the fence. They all had korean inscriptions on them. I later found out these are messages of hope and love. What a great idea.
Then we headed to Seoul Station to come home. We found a tgif fridays and had an amazing lunch for a great price. Then we came home, exhausted from a wonderful, loving, fun weekend. A huge sense of relief that it turned out to be more than I could ever hope for.

Theres an ongoing saying about foreigners coming to South Korea. They are either unpopular back home, running away from something, paying off debt, wanting to travel or all of the above.

I fit into three of those categories. I had debt I wasn’t comfortable with, haunted by images of a relationship past that was long dead, and I have the adventure bug in me that wants to see the world.

I came to South Korea, with the knowledge that I would learn to be comfortable alone and accept the fact that I won’t get married. Depressing eh? Well the truth is I do many things on my own and I am very comfortable doing them alone. I have been on several trips, I eat out I go to the movies. I meet a lot of new people that way. South Korea just enhanced that by giving me more things to do.

What that has done has helped me discover my love for hiking, and beaches and mountains. I have become comfortable in my own skin and regained my strength. It was on one of these solo jaunts that I met him.

Someone totally unexpected..never imagined anything would happen. He is funny, intelligent and tall. He challenges me, annoys me, loves me, surprises me and calms me. This wasn’t part of my plan. I’m a planner, I like to set goals and achieve them. This is hard to do when it comes to dealing with other humans. He messed up my plan and I have been having fun ever since.

I am at a crossroads now, between my old life and what is to come. I can feel that what is about to happen is about to be very good. But like Lot’s wife in the bible, its too tempting for me to look back at my old life. I am about to take the leap without knowing where I will land.

I think single women, like myself, here, we stereotype the foreign men in South Korea. Stereotypes always have some basis but the problem with stereotypes is they always discount a lot of people. I think if you are meant to date in South Korea it will happen. Until then, enjoy South Korea, enjoy yourself, don’t indulge in the pack mentality too much, spend a lot of time on yourself. If you don’t date here, at least you LIVED in South Korea. And by living I mean, doing more than getting drunk every weekend.

Money..I have seen what it does to people, I am in the middle of what it does to people. I struggle not to obsess over it as well.  We can’t escape it.  We can manage it.  We should never let it take over our lives.

Preoccupiation over money by those around me has caused suicides, unnecessary family splits, envy, jealousy, bitterness.  It generally brings out the worst in people.  As for myself, as I haven’t ever had much of it, it is hard for me to spend it.  If i do spend money its rarely on myself unless its for food.  I budget and when I am out of my budget, I am out of my comfort zone.  Money is a very uncomfortable subject for me.  I don’t know how to receive it and I am bad at giving it.  I am always worried that it will offend people if I ask them to share the cost.  And money is partly the reason I am in South Korea.  I made quite a few bad financial judgments which caused my debt to soar..not an unreasonable amount..but for me who likes to be in control, it was out of control.  So i pay off more debt than I spend in a month in the hopes that soon it will be gone.  When I was in Canada, the obsession over how to get rid of the debt was eating away like a disease.  But money is not hte only reason I am over here, and slowly becomes the smallest reason.

Learning to let go is hard but very freeing.  Now my reasons for coming here are many.  And worrying about money has gone from the highest priority to one of the lowest. 

I hope that any of you who have problems with money, learn to manage it without becoming obsessed with it.  There is so much in South Korea and in the world to enjoy in a responsible way .

I don’t know why there is so much debate over this.  To handle the occasions where we may run into other foreigners, we should treat them like our comrades rather than germs we can’t wait to wash our hands of.

So in honour of that sentiment, I propose a foreigner code of conduct for just this situation.

If you meet another foreigner on the street, you can choose to make eye contact, nod in acknowledgment or smile.  If they dont’ acknowledge you,  don’t take offence.  However if someone does do any of these things in your direction and you are aware of it, acknowledge it somehow.  It does not mean you have to have a conversation. 

So today was election day in South Korea, and i had the day off. So this afternoon it was rainy and I met up with some friends. I had seen Upara and looked from afar but never been in. It was quite an adventure.

It had all the activities I had not done in a while. Ping pong, bowling, massage chairs, pool, noraebang (singing room) and even a room you could jam to music in.

So we ventured up there in Haeundae, and found out we could get this great deal. For the equivalent of 10 USD, you could get a movie ticket and 3 hours at UPARA. Movie tickets are usually 7 as are passes to UPARA. It was a great deal.

We went inside and played ping pong. I fell asleep on the massage chairs, which were amazing. Then we went to the singing room and sang for an hour. Followed by 20 min jam session where I improvised lyrics, as cheesy as they were.

I didn’t go to the movie today because I had a previous appointment. But thats ok, you have 1 month to use the movie pass.

What a great cheap date. To top it off, Upara is open 24 hours. I so want to go there late at night..only problem is…there are other activities at night i prefer to bowling..such as sleeping or

So on the weekend I hooked up with this great guy after the Busan Beer Olympics.  I had only one beer and he didn’t appear to be drunk.  Now he was wearing this shirt.  I can’t read korean so I am not sure what it said.  What I do know..is it was a really fabulous, hot night.  But now…he doesn’t call.  He doesn’t text.  And the worst part is when I was with him Koreans were laughing, pointing, smiling and giving him thumbs up signs.  Am I missing something????

Ok…you found me out. I know what the tshirt says.  And the guy is not a cad, I have been seeing him for a while.  But the havoc this shirt has caused has been amusing.  We were in Nampodong and everywhere we went he caused smiles. This is great because it fits in with my philosophy of making Koreans smile.  He is all in his glory with this shirt and it is absolutely adorable.  I just hope its a phase.

I find it interesting that Koreans can come up to us and ask us if we know what the shirt means.  But there have been thousands of times I have wanted to go up to a Korean and ask them if they know what the english on their shirt means.  I think I am going to have to start wearing korean shirts.  I just have to find a word that describes me…any suggestions?  Definitely not 바람둥이 .

One thing I never even really considered when I decided to come to South Korea is the death of some of my relatives.  Neither my great-aunt who was in her 80s nor my grandfather who was 96 shown any signs of illness. BUt I have lost them both in the last six months and won’t be able to atttend either funeral.

They are both great people.  My great aunt devoted her life to helping others.  She married during ww2 and her husband died six ddays before the end of the war.  Instead of remarrying, she got a job and used her money and the pension she got from the Canadian government to help others.  Her aid is far reaching.  From Guatamala to Russia, my Aunt helped anyone in need that she good.  She donated a lot of money to church and christian academies, for education and computers.  She even helped my Aunt taht these foreigners to canada were able to get a mortgage in Canada.  She cosigned the mortgage and helped with the downpayment.  There are not so many in the world as generous as her on her income.  The world is a little less gracious without her in it.

MY grandfather is a great man.  He was born in the Ukraine in the early 1900s.  He became a refugee in his own country in 1914 during the Russiaon revolution.  The family lost their flour mill and had to run away.  He came to canada with his big family in 1923.  He had seven brothers and sisters.  He helped work off his family’s transportation to Canada on a mennonite farm.  He met my grandmother during the great depression.  Had three kids, my mom later in life.  And even worked at Ford Motor company for 30 years.  He was retired fror almost as long as he has been working.  He had a big family, 3 children, 10 grandkids, and countless greatgrandchldren.  He was married to my grandmother for 69.5 years.  He was healthy right up to the end.  Still driving his own car, living in his own house, no long term medical stays.  no long term illness.  He went as he should.  His only hospital stay.  I will miss you grandpa and all our conversations of politics and the liberal party.  It was you who inspired me to study politics. 

To my aunt florence, and grandpa,  thank you for being a part of my life.  You have definitely left a mark on my life I will never forget.  Enjoy your life in heaven.  can’t wait to see you again some day.

There are times when I wish I knew korean.   One of my kindy classes is the reason why.

They are all adorable.  Each has such a separte personality.  But there is a hierarchical system being established with the lone girl at the top.

You need to realize these kids are five years old.  But it is so obvious it shocks me.

The girl, the cutest thing you ever did see unless she gets her mean face, is the boss.   She rules the roost.  She will instruct two of the boys to go and punch the outcast.  Now, she realizes one will never really do her bidding.  So she has one under her foot.  If she says jump, he jumps.   If she says go hit that guy, he does.  The one that doesn’t do her bidding, seems to sit back and watch it all happen.  An interested third party so to speak, his interest is very cute, and definitely one of a bystander, not someone wanting to get involved.  Then there is the outcast.  Striving for attention in order to be liked, and yet..is just pushing this hierarchy higher and higher.

The cutest,,and probably most disturbing is when neither boy will do her bidding.  She goes and does it herself.  She will chase the outcast around the room, and even punch him.  And she speaks loudly in korean a lot of things I would be interested to here.

Today I reported her to the korean teacher.  And the teacher was shocked.  This cute, little girl was blaming eveyrone but herself.  She tried to take everyone down with her.  For five years old, she’s really smart and really aggressive.  That could be a good or bad thing.

Even as I write this, I remember a time when I too was a bit of a hellion.  Back when I was six and guys were trying to lift my skirts, I used to chase them around the playground, kicking their shins.  It got the point across.

Its amazing what you can see just by being in tune with tone of voice and body language.  Try it yourself.

In an earlier post,  I discussed bathrooms.  I forgot to mentioned those I have been impressed with.  Besides the fancy gadget at outback and bennigans, I found one that surprised me in the strangest of places.

If you have never been to Taejongdae, you definitely must go.  The hike is invigorating, the views of the sea are breathtaking and in general, just a lovely place.  Half way through your walk you will encounter a circular restaurant.  Depending on which direction you are coming from, there is a bathroom before it or just after it.  This bathroom is a bathroom with a view.  I am not sure if all stalls offer it.  But the stall I had offered me a great view of the sea while I was doing my business.  It is one of those…I never expected that moments.  Must be seen. 

So I was up late last night..and I went for a walk.  Coming home..I met a drunk Korean man, attempting to climb a hill.  Attempting is the key word because the way he was trying to accomplish it was like doing a country western line dance.  He would start on the right side, side step over diagnolly until he was at the left side.  Then he would take a step or two back to regain his balance. Finally he would repeat these moves to get to the right side.  But he never seemed to be going anywhere, like walking a really weird treadmill.

I thought that I would go to my grave with the only humourous bathroom tales involving Belgium and walking into a man’s bathroom to comb my hair and not know it.

That is.until I came to South Korea.

I heard about the toilets in the floor (I am nto sure what they are called) but I was naive to believe I’d never have to face one.  But as Murphy’s law would have it, the time when I needed the toilet the most, the only option was this contraption.

So I had to decide what I was going to do….and it was a very liberating experience.   I discovered women CAN pee standing up…and about this crouching business, I’d never do it.  Everyone forgets the splashback.  I won’t go into details but it is possible for women to pee standing up without making a mess.  In fact, having the experience of having to clean a men’s washroom on several occasions, I believe that women would be more successful at aiming then men are. 

Now have I grossed you out?  I have one more tale.

When I first arrived in South Korea, I went to Bennigans.  Bennigans is a nice place with western food.  I excused myself to the washroom, when i saw an intimidating toilet.  It had all these buttons on the side and I couldn’t figure out how to flush the toilet.  Here’s a tip: before playing with the buttons, make sure you are sitting on the toilet first.  I had not and got water everywhere.  The toilet had everything, played music, a rinser, a heater.  It was perfect.  I am so getting one of those before I go home.   So beware if you see a toilet with many buttons and do as I suggested.  Sit down first.

I got the biggest compliment today in the form of sarcasm.  I am glad to see I am entertaining people, even if it is at my expense.  I hope you continue to enjoy my stories.  But I won’t post sarcastic remarks.  Negativity is best left for all the millions of other blogs of foreigners complaining about Asia.  I like to make people laugh and take themselves less seriously.  So again, thank you..you know who you are.

Some, maybe a lot of people, wonder why someone like myself who doesn’t like korean food is teaching in South Korea.

Well, I knew I could survive here because there is no lack of american food here.  And then I found the Seaman’s club.

Seaman’s club is behind Busan Station.  It is a quaint little place with great management.  The best part is the food and the price.  I am in love wiht the texas burger.  I visit once a week and thats my treat for the week.  The cheese and crisp bacon mmmmm and sometimes i will treat myself to dessert.  But the onion rings are amazing, just like back in North America at your local bowling alley.  You can get a cheap glass of wine.  Occasionally you will even be treated to endless sightings of soldiers.  And if you are like me, a woman on a man drought, sometimes the artwork is worth admiring, knowing you’re not going to buy it.

The Seaman’s Club has a great buffet for thanksgiving and christmas.  This past Easter, my fellowship group and I went and we had a blast.  A big shoutout for that cherry cheese strudel.  I had too much…it was too good.  The breakfast is also amazing.  And the prices are more than reasonable and the food is so satisfying.

It amazes me the arrogance of North Korea.   First off, it amazes me that North Korea has arrogance.  What does it have to be arrogant about?  Ok, so it has nuclear weapons. But it certainly does not have a robust economy.  Nor doesi t have world presence.

So it astounds me that North Korea continues to make threats against South Korea.  Especially after the recent aid South korea gave North Korea to help with flooding in the north.  South Korea appearrs to be quite charitable to North Korea and yet that is not enough for North Korea to mellow out.

It would not be in North Korea’s best interest to annihilate South Korea.  To do that, would cut off any money they are receiving and it would come back to hurt them more.  Furthermore, South Korea really shouldn’t give any more money to North Korea.  THe north appears to be so foolish as to spend the aid money on nuclear weapons rather than on food for its people.

If North Korea was a relative of mine that I kept inviting for dinner out of the goodness of my heart, and not only did it keep declining my offer but threatening violence, not only would I stop issuing invitations, I would ignore them all together.

I am used to having Koreans come up and talk to me.  I remember at Haeundae beach swimming and I used to get families come up and talk.  I enjoyed it.  But the conversation usually consisted of where are you from?, what is your job?, are you married?  But still, I thought it was nice that they went out of their way to talk to me.

That being said..the other week I was on my way to walk along Gwangali beach and I was at a crosswalk crossing the street.  Right across was an older Korean gentleman on a scooter.  He started to drive in my direction. I thought he was going to run me over.  Instead, he looks over at me and says ‘You have a nice body.’.

After I got over my shock, I laughed.  What an interesting phrase to come out, totally unexpected.  I of course wondered where he picked that phrase up.  It did however put a smile on my face.  And it does to this day.

I know there is a man out here somewhere in Busan, who doesn’t like the bar scene, who doesn’t like to drink, who finds it hard to meet people and would like someone to share activities with.  If interested, reply to this blog.  I would like to have some male friends that are sincere, and respect women.  In return, you will get a great tour guide and conversationalist and hopefully i can make you laugh a time or two.

I know the city was trying to come up with way to improve it for foreigners.  I didn’t do the survey because I didn’t have any ideas until now.  The culture for foreigners here is to meet at bars and clubs.  What about 24 hour coffee shops?  So people that like to stay out late can hang out without getting drunk.  Or even a coffeehouse?  With a stage, and desserts and coffee and no alcohol, where there could be noraebang nights and open mic nights and book clubs and movie events.  Or even social mixers, board game nights….  There are some of us that just like to hang out.  This would be perfect.    What other ideas do you have? 

For months, I have been hidden away from the world and reading the bible, exploring South Korea on my own and attending church.  For months I have not let the world in.

There are an infinite number of truths you can get from the bible.  One very clear truth, that I have learned through trial and error rather than just believing, is that the ten commandments were designed so we do not hurt ourselves.    Covetness causes dissatisifaction with our lives, with what we have.  It causes breakdowns in marriages, in the workplace.  It can influence people to desperate measures, resorting to crimes.  But most of all, it brings on many forms of heartache.

It also causes us to place material things, things we cannot take with us when we die, above God.  When we engage in sin, we engage in a war with our soul.  We become torn inside.  It brings up all kinds of illnesses, paranoia, heartbreak, depression, desperation and most often fear.  This is not how God wants us to live.  He wants us to worship him, to love him.  But as long as we are engaging in sin, we are separate from God.  

I recently have engaged in sin that I am repetent of now.  But there are still ramifications of my actions occurring everyday and what I most didn’t want to happen.  I was content to be alone, I was content with my circumstances.  Now I am restless, regretful, sad, and separated from God.

I am still content.  I have everything I need.  However, I am now aware of how truly alone I am and thats caused the restlessness.  This feeling is one of the biggest temptatioin makers of all time.  It will be interesting to see how I develop over the next few weeks with this feeling in my stomach.

Its never a question of having fun.  I clearly had a lot of fun last night.  But..when you wake up….have you ever knew a charleyhorse was coming, before it did?

Usually I wake up with a charleyhorse.  That is bad enough.  But this morning, I went to stretch my leg which was fine.  And then I felt the first cramp, tried to move my leg and whoaaaaaaaaaaaa.  Full on charleyhorse.

Next time I dance as crazy as i did last night, I think i should warm up first.

After a week of rejection, a new discovery for the love of blogging and bad news from home, I need to escape.  So my friend Joyce and I went to Jinju.  I had been to Jinju before as I visited the Lantern festival in October.  I fell in love with it then at night.  Now I needed to see it during the day.

To some it may not be much.  But to myself, who loves to walk along a beautiful pathway everyday, the paths along the river in Jinju are so long…I want to live there just to walk them every day.  The views are spectacular, but thats my opinion.  On top of that, Jinju’s main attraction,  Jinju fortress has great paths to walk through as well.  I love walking over the bridges.  At times, it didn’t feel like I was in Korea.

I finally ate at Zio Ricco`s.  I had read about the place.  It is an Italian restaurant in Jinju.  The ambiance is amazing.  The outside looks quaint.  On the inside, as soon as I walked in, an aroma of spices went through my nose and made me instantly hungry.  I had an italian cherry soda (which was good) and meat lasagna (which was very good).  There is a bar on top but it was closed.  My friend Joyce and I have decided to come back sometime and spend the night in Jinju just so we can see the bar at night.  Plus, I have heard it is a foreigner hangout and I am all for meeting new foreigners.

That last statement is funny because for the last 8 months I have been avoiding them.  Now I want to meet them all.  Maybe I am like a bear coming out of hibernation.

Definitely go to Jinju, the cherry blossom festival is next week, and the Jinju Lantern festival is in October.