Hey Jim,
Greetings from your buddy here in the witness protection program for
the financially challenged. Money is kinda funny so I shouldn't be thinkin'
bout goin' nowhere 'cept to bed. But lately I've been afflicted by a
grievous hankering for the notion of home. So I took a Korea break.
A friend here thinks what really ails me is lack of a mission. Maybe
he's right.
Remember missions Jim? Before our backs got hairy, we're going to change
the world. Guess the world changed us. I came to Korea to live a simple
life. Maybe sleepwalk through a day gig, dumb down on CNN and jack off
when the hour of the wolf screamed out loud.
But you know what? Life got complicated. My wife and I wobble chronically
between oblivion and bliss. Thankfully forgiveness has a potency no
matrimonial scorn can match. And my daughter's seriously magic. Mixed
babies are cross cultural canvases. One day they're Asian; the next
Western, their genes trying to decide what's up. To righteously hang
with her I've got to rock slowly and murmur in ordinary rhythms.
Except being a daddy just ain't enough to make my demons lie the fuck
down. Then it takes a whole lot of medicine to help me pretend I'm somewhere
else. So I bolted to Thailand. Bet you think I spent all my money callin'
Thai ladies honey and wound up singin' the blues, right? Not this time.
I went to a remote island and cleaned up in a detox fasting program.
Sure I downed a few Singhas beforehand, but after that I was a damn
boy scout.
Jimbo, you'd be amazed what comes out your body when you purge the pollutants.
It looked like something from Ghostbusters. I mean positively evil.
Afterwards my eyes burned bright as beacons. My fasting buddies were
cool, Euros mostly. One British chick was vitally hot. We talked about
everything; religion, politics, and of course the food we couldn't eat.
Chewing the fat helped me forget how foul the cleansing shakes tasted.
But I never quite managed casual colonic conversation.
That reminds me, I read that three hospital patients died in Seoul when
doctors gave them Ajax enemas by mistake. YEOW!
Until That Time,
Guy Hormel