1.
Oddugi's "Bbal-gae myeon"
750W/3 Stars
If you're a Communist,
Pulgun Angma or visiting Martian, Oddugi's "Bbalgaemyun" is the perfect
treat for you. Along with a spicy-red, kimchi-flavored broth and lots of dried,
diced red peppers, you even get red-colored ramen noodles! If you've ever wondered
what foreigners mean when they say that Koreans have a tendency to overdo things,
Bbalgaemyun is a perfect example of Korean overkill--after a couple of mouthfuls
of this stuff, even your pee and poop will come out red!
2. Yakult's
"P‘aldo Bibim myeon"
750W/1 Star
Like instant jjajangmyun,
Yakult's "P'aldo Bibimbap" is one of those gimmicky noodles that sound
promising in theory, but are disgusting in actual fact. Everything about this
product is wrong: those little fake egg pellets taste like tennis-shoe rubber,
the koch'u paste is too sweet and suggests ttokpokki sauce, and the noodles aren't
even real naengmyung--they're just a lame, overly soggy attempt at normal ramen
noodles. The only redeeming feature here is the non-Styrofoam, environment-friendly
paper cup; actually, if you're really hungry, the cup would probably taste a lot
better than the noodles themselves.
3. Dongwon's "Geurang Noodle"
(Actual price not certain, bought on discount at
Kim's Club; about
1000W maybe)/1 Star
Whoever invented Dongwon's "Geurang Noodles"
shouldbe fired. These thin, translucent potato noodles looklike a haraboji's beard,
and taste like soggy plastic.
Not even the peppery beef-boullion-like broth
and rubbery fake-looking crab pellets can disguise the synthetic, appetite-killing
texture and flavor of these so-called "grand" noodles. I wouldn't even
feed these to a starving North Korean defector. The worst, without doubt.
4.
Nongshim's "Sarigomt‘ang"
700W/4 Stars
Maker
of Shin Ramyun, the most popular instant ramen in Korea, and other delicacies
like Mup'ama
Ramyeon and Saengsaeng Udong, Nongshim clearly knows a thing or
two about noodles. Their "Sarigomt'ang" is my own personal favorite.
Slightly whiter and thicker than normal ramen, these noodles are hearty and tasty;
the stock is also milky white and offers a fairly good approximation of sollongt'ang.
My only complaint is the false advertising: Why are there juicy beef strips pictured
on the outside package when there are none inside? Sorry guys, no perfect score
for you: a
one-star deduction. Nevertheless, this is a simple yet
sophisticated,
superior cup of noodles--good enough
for even a proud yangban to enjoy.
5.Dongwon's
"Ra‘udong”
(Actual price not certain, bought on discount
at
Kim's Club; about 1200W maybe)/0 Stars
Although many don't know it,
"Fusion Food" is
actually short for "Confusion Food." Dongwon's
"Ra udong" are certainly the most confusing fusion noodles I've ever
had--thicker and slimier than normal ramen noodles, thinner and tougher than udon
noodles,
Ra'udong actually look, feel and taste like yakisoba
(Japanese
buckwheat) noodles. The problems is that
while yakisoba noodles taste pretty
good fried, boiled
Raudong tastes like total crap; the pseudo beef-boullionish
broth is nothing special, and those fake little crab pellets seem to be made from
the same material as the plastic lid. If this is what people mean by "globalization,"
I'd rather starve, thank you very much.
6. Yakult's "Bokkeum Kimch‘i
myeon"
1300W/4 Stars
After suffering through Yakult's P'aldo
Bibimbap, I
was about to recommend they get out of the noodle
business and
stick to making yogurt drinks; but then I
tried their "Bokkeum Kimch‘imyeon"
and was impressed by the company's ability to innovate and
expand the parameters
of ramendom. Rather than having
to add your own kimchi separately, these ramen
noodles
come with their own little packet of genuine, bona
fide pokkum kimchi,
which actually tastes much better
with ramen than normal, raw paech'u kimchi.
The soup
tastes more like kimchiguk than standard ramen broth
and the noodles
are not bad at all. All in all, an exciting and certainly unique product--I'd
even pay extra to have a Yakult Ajumma deliver a bowl of this stuff right to my
doorstep.
--J. Scott Burgeson is the publisher/editor of Bug
magazine (http://bug.andyou.com)