By Shawn Matthews
You‘ve
been in Korea too long when…
1. It no longer bothers you when an Ajuma
bumps you out of the way.
2. You own one of the following: mosquito spray,
mosquito smoke coils, mosquito swatters, or a mosquito net.
3. You own a scooter.
4.
You can order food in Korean.
5. You have a favorite Korean commercial.
6.
You‘ve eaten Kimchi and rice for breakfast.
7. You‘re embarassed
about your newly found smoking and drinking habits.
8. Using chopsticks no
longer feels strange and awkward.
9. You've tried any of the following once:
bo shin tang, eel, live squid, whale blubber, or bun dae gi.
10. You own a
handphone, but still find them annoying.
11. Using a squatter has become bareable.
12.
You eat shrimp chips and seaweed with beer.
13. You've given in and now beat
your students with a stick.
14. You bought a small dog.
15. You've purchased
several items from subway salesmen.
16. You know the mystery of the missing
4rth floor.
17. You understand how to play Baduk.
18. You eat a lot of the
garlic they give you with bulgogi.
19. Your student loan is almost paid off.
20. You can drink 1 bottle of Soju.
You've been in Korea MUCH too
long when....
1. You bump Ajumas out of your way.
2. You own ALL of
the following: mosquito spray, mosquito smoke coils, mosquito swatters, and a
mosquito net.
3. You own a car.
4. You can order food over the phone and
give directions.
5. You have a favorite Korean drama.
6. You prefer Kimchi
and rice for breakfast.
7. You boast about your now heavy smoking and drinking
habits.
8. Using a fork feels strange and awkward.
9. You've tried any of
the following MORE THAN once: bo shin tang, eel, live squid, whale blubber, or
bun dae gi.
10. You own the newest and most expensive handphone and check it
10 times an hour.
11. Using a squatter has become second nature.
12. You
eat fruit with beer.
13. You beat your students with a stick and feel insanely
powerful.
14. You've dyed your dog‘s ears blue or pink.
15. Your friend
is a subway salesman.
16. You‘re terrified to be on any 4rth floor.
17.
You‘ve beaten a Korean at Baduk.
18. You eat EVERYTHING they give you
with bulgogi.
19. You're student loan is almost paid off.
20. You hail yourself
as Soju drinking champion of your city.