| The
Junk Food Junkie |
The Beat January 2003
This month our reviewer wets his palate with Korean container coffee... 1. Yakult's
“Santa fe Cafe Vanilla” Just because Yakult knows how to do yogurt drinks doesn't mean they know how to do coffee. In fact, while a strong milk, sugar and especially vanilla flavor predominate, there's hardly any coffee taste at all in “Santa fe Cafe Vanilla” -- I suggest they rename it “Supersugarsweet Vanilla au Lait” before someone (like me) sues them for false advertising. The only good thing I have to say about this product is that it would be good for parents to give to kids under 5 years old, as a kind of “training coffee” before they graduate to the Real Stuff. 2.
Maeil “Caffe Latte” (Mocha, plastic cup container) As is so often the case in the postmodern world of late, multinational capitalism, Maeil presents the consumer with a surfeit of choices: spend W800 for a 175ml can of its multiflavored Caffe Latte line, or W1,000 for a 200ml plastic cup of the exact same thing? Obviously, in terms of price-quantity ratio, you get better value with the can; yet the plastic cup is undoubtedly more popular these days. Why? My own theory is that Maeil is riding the trend of take-out coffee from boutique cafes that has swept Korea in the past two or three years. And while the tiny coffee can seems distinctly Japanese (more suitable, of course, for the millions of vending machines they have there), the somewhat larger plastic cup with lid seems more typically Korean, a fashionable step up from the humble paper cup of the ubiquitous instant coffee vending machine still found everywhere here. As for the taste, it's rich and creamy, if a bit too sweet; my favorite flavor is Mocha, just because it seems to have the strongest kick, which is exactly what I want from my coffee. 3. Eugene Science's “Cholzero Cafe au Lait” Whoever invented this product had better start drinking better, stronger coffee, just so they don't keep creating such terrible--and terribly named--coffee drinks in the future. “Cholzero”? Sounds like mangled Konglish, or some kind of weird science experiment. As for the taste, well, think of mangled Konglish, or some kind of weird science experiment. With a special cholesterol-lowering food additive called “Ucole” (derived from “plantsterol,” whatever that is), this coffee is supposed to be healthy for you; well, maybe it is, but if healthy coffee has to taste like dirty dishwater, I think I'll just pass, thank you very much. In any case, “healthy coffee” is basically a contradiction, so if you're looking for a healthy pick-me-up beverage, skip the Cholzero and just stick to green tea--believe me, your taste buds will thank you. 4. Starbuck's “Frappuccino” Leave it to Starbucks to introduce the most expensive coffee product on the local convenience store market: at W3,000, this is designer bottled coffee at its most outrageously overpriced. Even more offensive is the claim that there's anything remotely “frappy” about this so-called “Frappuccino”: the only way you're going to get any ice into it is if you add your own, but come on, how many people keep shaved ice in their freezer? The only good point about this imported Crappaccino is that is that you get a 5-cent refund if you recycle the bottle, which I guess is an example of Starbucks' self-proclaimed “environmental consciousness.” But since this policy only applies in the U.S., you'll have to pay about W5,000 to ship it across the Atlantic for your refund. Brilliant. And you wonder why so many people around the world call this company “Starsucks.” 5.
Lotte's "Let's Be Cappuccino" Like Maeil, Lotte offers its Let's Be coffee line in the cheaper, traditional can format, along with newer, more fancy hi-tech packaging designed to catch the eyes of consumers in an already overcrowded market. Since Maeil's plastic cups with plastic lids are environmentally unfriendly, Lotte could have taken the lead as a greener company and produced paper cups that are easy to recycle; unfortunately, its Let's Be paper containers are lined with plastic inside, making recycling difficult if not impossible. Still, they have a smooth, full-bodied flavor that's pretty good for container coffee, although its “Cappuccino” tastes closer to mocha or sweet, coffee-flavored chocolate milk than real cappuccino. One of the better container coffees on the local market, although I still prefer chap‘angi (vending machine) instant coffee myself. 6. UCC's “Carame Noir” A recent entry into the Korean market, UCC (that's short for Ueshima Coffee Co., first started in Kobe, Japan in 1933) deserves respect--or perhaps disdain if you're a coffee snob--for developing the world's first canned coffee in 1969. If Starbucks, being an American company, feels compelled to have the biggest bottle of coffee on Korean storeshelves, UCC is exactly the opposite: its Carame Noir (and Mocha Noir) is the shortest can available here. Perhaps this is a strategy of keeping a low profile in a former colony, or perhaps the Japanese really are shorter than Koreans. In any case, this is a very cute, fashionable can of coffee, and is not half bad: less watery and tinny-tasting than most canned coffees, with a nice bitter flavor that actually tastes like real coffee. If you're tired of the excessive sweetness of most Korean container coffee, this is just the drink for you. 7. The Goutiers “Baro Cafe (Hazelnut)” The variety of packaging formats for container coffee in Korea
is really getting out-of-hand: along with cans, bottles, plastic cups and vacuum-pacs,
there are also a number of paper-cup products with plastic lids and powdered instant-coffee
packets inside. Then there's “The Goutiers Baro Coffee (Hazelnut),”
which carries this newfangled packaging craze to a ridiculous, wasteful extreme:
a kind of portable drip coffee, complete with separate sugar packet (but no creamer,
oddly enough) and paper stirring spoon. The main problem, however, is that there's
not enough ground coffee provided, meaning that you get coffee the color and transparency
of barley tea (Note to coffee drinkers in Korea: there are only two possible colors
for genuine brewed coffee--black and black). Then there's the problem of all the
wasteful packaging, including the plastic tray for the coffee filter, and the
clear plastic wrapping on the outside holding everything together. My advice?
Either do Mother Nature a favor and brew your own coffee at home without all the
wasteful packaging, or do what I do here on a daily basis: enjoy a steaming, delicious
cup of instant coffee from your nearest vending machine. After all, that's the
best container coffee Korea's ever invented, isn't it? |
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© 2002 Busan Beat |