The Beat March 2003

For expats living in Korea, a visa run to Japan can be an isolating bore; traveling in a foreign country for a short time without knowing people or the language. But over the past three years, Jamie and Theresa have been pouring my drinks and keeping me company at the Voodoo Lounge where they work.

Jamie, a Toronto native, started off as a skiing instructor in Nagano and ended up managing the Voodoo Lounge. Theresa, a graphic designer from Chicago, studied traditional Japanese calligraphy, painting and sculpture in Kumomoto, where she owned a bar called Shark Attack for three years, before moving to Fukuoka. Six years after the chance encounter that brought them together, these two still have the glue to keep their romance alive.

I was curious about living and loving in a foreign country for a decade. I had questions about making it in the bar business in Japan‘s frantic drinking culture, as well as the ups and downs of daily life in the biggest city on the island of Kyushu. So on a recent trip to Fukuoka I cornered them and captured their hearts on tape.
Mike: Well, what's the nature of your relationship?
Theresa: Engaged.
Jamie: We're engaged to be married.
T: We've been engaged two years.
M: So how did you become engaged?
T: I had my bar in Kumomoto called “Shark Attack”, and one of my best friends‘ (Wayne) girlfriend Maki worked for me. She was my best friend as well. Anyways, Wayne moved to Fukuoka, so Maki and I would come up on the weekends and party. At that time, Jamie and Wayne and another guy, an American named John, were doing parties. They rented out a space and had live bands and shows. So Maki and I would go up and that's when I first saw him and met him.
M: Ok, how did you two meet?
(Theresa and Jamie laugh)
T: He can tell it.
J: Yeah, I had gotten into doing monthly parties with Theresa's friend from Kumomoto, Wayne, and we'd rent out a space and there's a big stage and we would have bands, DJ's and other things sometimes.
M: What kind of other things?
J: Well, this is how we met actually, one of the parties we did a T-back (“G-string” in Janglish) contest. A Bikini contest. On stage we had a curtain, so you could only see from the ass down. So we had about 15 women on the stage and the crowd, with about 300 people - these events were usually pretty good - the crowd would vote by applause, so we had to put numbers on the cheeks.
M: Really?!
J: So Wayne and I flipped a coin to see who got that job and I won.
M: So you had to write the numbers on the girl's butt cheeks with a marker?
J: Yeah.
M: Ok. So, (looks at Theresa) we haven't established how you were involved with this party.
J: Well, she had come up like she said…
T: So Maki and I drove up just to support Wayne and his parties and just to have fun in Fukuoka. And Wayne asked us, “Could you please do this? We don't have enough people. Nobody signed up yet. If a couple people sign up then everybody will sign up.”
M: To be in the contest?
T: So I hemmed and hawed and put back a lot of gin & tonics and finally said “Okay, what the hell! Nobody's gonna know it's me so sure, Ok, I'll do it!” Then Maki would do it too. Got up there and behind the stage they threw a bag of G-strings, new ones thank God…
J: We had a sponsor for the event that provided the G-strings.
M: Were they all the same color?
T: No, no, all different colors, sizes, shapes et cetera, so the girls all scrambled to get the color they wanted, ripped the tags off and proceeded to put them on. And that's when Jamie came behind the stage and said, “Ok, I gotta number your cheeks.”
M: What number were you?
T: Why don't you ask him?
M: What number was she?
J: Three
M: The women, were they all North Americans?
J: There was a mix, I'd say about 50/50. Seven or eight Japanese and seven or eight foreign women. We had some ringers. Wayne and I had some girls we knew who promised us they'd do it.
T: Strippers.
J: We had some strippers.
M: Strippers?
J: And Canadian girls.
M: And who was the winner?
T: Stripper.
J: A stripper.
M: A stripper was the winner?
J: (To Theresa) You did well though. You were a finalist.
M: Who were the judges?
J: How I met T, how I first really recognized her was, I, I was doing the cheeks, and I said I flipped a coin with Wayne and I won, 'cause both of us wanted that job. So the curtain was down, on stage, everyone was watching, and I was on stage numbering all the cheeks and I distinctly remember Theresa's cheeks, and I kind of looked up under the curtain to see who it was.
M: Uh huh. So you met her cheek first?
J: That's right. (laughs)
M: Cheek to cheek.
J: Kind of, yeah. I'm a romantic.
M: That's a modern romance story! How did you first talk to each other?
T: I had asked Wayne as well, “Who's that guy in the Levis cut-off shorts?”
M: “Who's writing on my ass?”
T: No, that was actually before the contest. And he said, “That's Jamie,” and I said, “Oh, does he have a girlfriend?” and Wayne's answer was “No, not really.” Which now I understand meant he was in between strippers. But, (laughs) anyway, as we came up on the weekends, we just got to talking, and through Wayne and Maki, we'd come up every once in a while on the weekends, and I'd see him more and more often.
J: The four of us went to the beach a lot, that first summer. You drive 45 minutes to an hour from here, west, it's beautiful beach country, beautiful ocean. A really cool place called 'Sunset Cafe'. Anyone who comes in the summer, head out west, Tamigowda it's called. If you just head straight out west to Hidomi, it'll take you there. Beautiful beach, really popular place, cool people, a lot of surfers, die-hard reggae dudes; it's a cool culture.
T: Cliff diving.
M: There's cliff diving?
T: Well, we invented something out there.
M: Can you tell me any stories from behind the bar? What are some of the wildest things that happen here?
J: Getting naked.
T: We've gotten naked here a couple of times, all of us.
M: How many people?
J: Ten. Cirque Du Soleil ...
M: Circus of lay?
J: Cirque Du Soleil, the famous circus. They were in Fukuoka for a couple months.
M: They came to the Voodoo Lounge?
T: Every night.
J: We gave them special passes when they got into town. Great people. French Canadians, a lot of them.
M: Did they know how to party?
J: Oh yeah.
T: Yeah, for some reason or another, we'd all end up shirtless, well, me with a bra, and shirtless and down to their boxers some of them. I don't know why, doing all sorts of strange push-up contests and arm wrestling.
J: Body shots 'til 10 in the morning.
M: What are 'body shots'?
J: Put salt right here (points to between T's breasts) for tequila.
M: Between the breasts?
T and J: Yeah.
T: And I'd hold the lemon in my mouth and basically the guy would lick the salt, do the shot and retrieve the lemon.
M: From your mouth?
T: Yeah.
M: Where would he do the shot from?
T: He'd have the shot glass in his hand. So instead of using your own wrist to put the salt on, you use somebody else's body part.
J: It was mad.
M: Do you think anybody has ever had sex in this bar?
J: We have.
T: Right here.
J: Right here, we're sittin' on it. (Laughing and looking down at the sofa they're sitting on)
T: It was a different couch at the time though.
M: So…from when you first came here more than ten years ago, how have you changed personally, if at all?
T: A lot more patient. A lot more accepting. (Jamie laughs) Just dealing with a lot of different cultures, this culture plus other people from other countries. Meeting a whole bunch of interesting people; it's broadened my mind a lot. And through different experiences I'm not so afraid to try anything. I'll try anything once.You have to have a thick skin to do that. Pretty independent. But I feel that I've accomplished a lot. I feel a lot stronger as a person. And able to perhaps challenge anything new.
M: Jamie, how do you think it's changed you?
J: Sorry, I'm still thinking about that patience-and-accepting thing. (laughs)
M: Hey, it's okay if you two want to fight or anything, but don't really fight.
T: He's in the doghouse right now.
J: I'm in the doghouse right now.
M: Why are you in the doghouse?
J: I screwed up. We were supposed to meet Friday, 6:30 pm, one of her Christmas presents from me.
M: Hey, I saw you on Friday! Friday night we were at the dance party…oh…
T: Saturday he was supposed to meet me at 6:30.
J: That's right, Saturday at 6:30 pm.
T: But he was out partying all night with you.
M: Sorry for keeping you out.
J: No, no, no, my fault. I woke up at 8 pm.
M: You missed it!
J: I did.
T: Yes, I sat in the store by myself, from 6:30 to 7, waiting, calling, calling house phone, cellular phone.
M: Hence the doghouse. Sounds well deserved.
J: Yeah.
T: Yeah.
J: She wasn't answering my calls, rightly so, so I was leaving messages and last night I bought some of her favorite flowers - that she paints actually - and left them at her door. I'm still in the doghouse.
M: Yeah, but she's talking to you now.
J: Because she has no choice. It's an interview! (laughs)
M: What's it like having a relationship with a North American person in Japan? Is that common?
T: I don't think it's that common actually. There are couples that come over together and end up breaking up.
J: I've seen a lot of that.
T: Ninety percent.
M: Why does that usually happen?
T: You're thrown into a whole different culture ... it's exciting, it's fun, but there is a party scene here and I think they're both struggling at the same time to accept the language and the culture, and perhaps one of them thrives and the other doesn't, or they find other people. And I think the majority of men that come over here are very interested in Asian women, Japanese women, rightly so, and that breaks up a lot of couples.
M: Couples don't like that.
T: But having met here, I think it's made us stronger because if I were to go back home and to meet somebody back home or another country, that person wouldn't have shared what we've shared together here and understanding the culture. And I'd feel like a piece of me was gone.
J: I think it's a testament to our relationship, even though I'm in the doghouse right now, a lot of our friends have said to me that they think it's amazing, considering the lifestyle we lead, you know, running this place. Like she said, you meet a lot of interesting people, a lot of good looking people, there's temptation everywhere. So I'm pretty proud of the fact that we've made it through. Like I said, a lot of our friends haven't. I've seen a lot of great couples just slowly split. But still together and happy we are.
M: Do you speak Japanese to each other?
J: Only in sex.
T: Dude, that'd be such a turn off! (Jamie laughs) Only if one of our friends, or another party in our company that we're talking with, their English isn't at a high enough level. That's when we would speak Japanese so they can understand us, so they won't feel left out.
J: Or when we're with Chris or someone and we don't want them to understand what we're saying. (laughs)
T: But it's a major pet peeve when another foreigner speaks to me in Japanese.
J: It's kind of weird.
M: It bothers you?
T: Yeah. I understand that there are a lot of newbies that come in and they're proud that they can order a beer. Okay, cool, whatever, I don't mind that. But when they want to talk to you in Japanese and I say Where are you from? and they answer me in Japanese, “I'm from America or Canada.” Well, English is your first language, right? “Yeah.” Speak it!
M: How has your lifestyle changed since you came to Japan?
T: I've always been a big partier, but I think I've partied even more here. Back home, you don't go out every night, there's the drinking and driving issue, plus you've gotta get up for your nine-to-five job, whereas here, being English teachers, it's pretty lax, and you start late afternoon, and into the evening. And to socialize, most people come out to the pubs.
M: 'Cause otherwise they're alone. They don't have a family here or long time friends.
T: Right, so I'd say the partying lifestyle has increased.
M: Jamie, do you have anything to add to that?
J: I tried to play a lot of sports here. Played on a hockey team, played on a basketball team for a while, beach volleyball, got into that for a few years, baseball, but opening Voodoo Lounge…I haven't been able to keep that up. The gym as well; I'm not as good at that. So yeah, my lifestyle isn't as healthy as it used to be. 'Cause of what T said basically, running this place I'm out every night, and…
M: Seven nights a week?
T: Yeah.
J: Six, sometimes seven. I do take a day off every week. Sometimes I have to come in for a while. T's been great. She comes and hangs out a lot, so we can spend time together.
M: It's kind of like your living room. (Laughter) What is the worst thing about working in this bar?
J: The hours. Even on a slow night I don't get home until four a.m. I close at three a.m. on weekdays, and I can't sleep when I get home. I still have a bit of a buzz going. Normally I don't get to sleep before five or six a.m.
M: It's twisted your sleep schedule.
J: Yeah, I'd say that's the worst thing, the constant hours and it's physically draining. You gotta be up every night, you gotta be smiling when you're here.
M: Did you work in bars in America and Canada?
T: I waitressed and bartended all through high school and college.
M: So how is bartending in Japan different?
T: No tips sucks!
J: There's no last call here.
T: Yeah, you don't have to shut your bar here. Basically you could stay open 24 hours.
J: When I was bartending at University in Canada, last call was one a.m., so you were home by two.
T: You knew when your shift would be done. I think a positive thing I learned from working in bars in Japan, obviously I had the customer relations skills before, but the service in Japan is perfect. People are seeing what customers are going to do before it happens, and you're there to light their cigarette, to ask them if they want a refill; it's one hundred twenty percent service. I think that's a good quality to take back.
M: Why is the service so good here?
J: The service industry as a whole, they take it very seriously and they train hard. Work is considered very, very important here.
T: If we had a tipping system I think it would be a little bit different, to be honest.
M: Why don't they tip here? Do you know?
J: Bartenders can make one thousand yen an hour or more, so the wages are better. Tipping just doesn't come into play as much, but service here is just expected. If you don't have good service, you don't have a good business. To compete in this culture, in any kind of service industry, you'd better make sure your service is decent or else you won't be able to compete.
T: When I go back home to a restaurant or bar, in comparison, I think it's bad service, and plus being a waitress for so long, I'm thinking, “What's going on here?” I'm kind of appalled.
M: It shocks you?
T: The first week I'm back, and I think Americans really are loud, rude and obnoxious.
M: Can you foresee yourselves ever transplanting your lives back to North America?
T: Oh yeah. In the near future we're planning to go back.
M: So you haven't decided to stay here for the rest of your lives?
T: Don't want to, no.
J: No.
M: Why not?
T: Family is home. I love this culture and I've studied it and I'll always keep it with me and continue studying it, but I do miss our culture and the understanding of it, without making an effort. And to move on in our careers, which is very hard to do here.
M: Do you think there's a kind of ceiling that you hit?
T: Oh yeah, there is, and I've found many ways around it, many times. But I feel like I've hit it again. It's challenging, but I'd like to make a go of it in North America.
J: There’s just no way I could do this…
M: Forever.
J: Like we said earlier, it would kill me.
M: Yeah, it might.
J: A lot of it is my fault. I'm weak, you know. You were there the other night, I'll start pounding when good people come in. I'll start drinking , drinking…it's fun, we'll have a great time, but we're 34 now.
M: Can't do it forever.
J: It's not like we're 24. The hangovers last longer.
T: I'll drink to that!
M: Tell me more about your relationship to Japan as a foreigner. Do you feel fully accepted and integrated?
T: No, definitely not fully accepted, never will be. They never have fully accepted a foreigner and they never will.
M: What stops them? I've heard you speak fluent Japanese, you've owned a business here, what?
T: Just the fact that you're not Japanese blood or Japan born, basically. There's a lot of prejudice in this country unfortunately. They're just not willing…it's so much more of a struggle, and they keep putting you off, putting you off, putting you down, putting you down, and a lot of people give up. It gets very, very, very hard to be fully accepted here I think.
M: Maybe impossible.
J: I tend to disagree. We discussed this before, like T was saying about her business and bar, her Japanese father, a lot of that exists too, which balances it out. What T said is true, there are certain things, you can never become a Japanese national really. It's not like where we're from; there are Canadian nationals who don't speak English. That's part of what makes Canada great, but here, no way! But there is the flip-side, you do have some really nice people that treat you a certain way because you are a foreigner. There are a lot of advantages to that. Just teaching English is a good example. A lot of people come over here and get paid pretty well to teach English just because they're a native speaker. That's their only qualification.
M: Right, I know.
J: When I was teaching skiing in Nagano - this never happened teaching skiing in Canada - we were treated like movie stars! People would ask me to sign their ski jackets with a black marker. I'm not saying that's really important, but it's an example of some of the perks that you can get here. I've had some Japanese friends, like the Kudioka family, similar to T's experience in Kumomoto. I've had some great friendships with Japanese people here who have done some really nice things for me, or open doors or whatever. And I think a lot of that is that they're just intrigued by a foreigner. You still have a nice relationship, da da da, and they think you're nice and vice versa, but there's still that foreigner thing, so they treat you a little special.
M: So it goes both ways.
J: I think there's a healthy balance, depending on what you're doing. If you want to take advantage of it or not, I don't know.
M: Well, you're Canadian (to Jamie) and you're American (to Theresa), is there ever any conflict?
J: She loves Canada now, there's no question about it.
T: (Laughing) I never had a problem with Canada, it was just up there north yonder. You know what I mean? The Canadians have a big thing with Americans, which I never really realized whatsoever until I was surrounded and I was dating one of them. So I think it's all just in jest, you know like, “Blah blah blah America. Blah blah blah Americans,” or, “Your hockey team sucks! Canadians rule!” Et cetera.
J: But we have to be that way because America overshadows us just naturally, the media and news, and even culturally.
M: Which country will you live in when you move back?
J: Uh, we're looking at settling in Canada, at first. Also Hawaii. It's being slightly debated right now.
T: I'd like to have a base somewhere, but I still want to travel.
J: We'll do something interesting.

Visit the Voodoo Lounge in Tienjin on Oyafuko Dori.