One of the most vexing questions to confront any Westerner in Korea, and a topic oft discussed loudly over many drinks in many a setting, is how to get um, ah, laid.  I thought, seeing how it’s the month of Valentine’s and all, and that I’m a salty old crusty veteran of these matters, I might give a few pointers to those still left wondering.

It’s not easy finding emotional or physical satisfaction while in Korea, especially if you happen to be a woman.  But, it is not easy for men, either, as the operative term here is satisfaction of both the emotions and the physical.  This can be made even more difficult, since there is no good place to meet people, Koreans or foreigners, other than the bar scene.  Even in Korea, it’s not the place to meet the best caliber of people.  So, there is no good advice to give about where to go to meet folks.  It’s just the luck of the draw.
 Following are my assumptions and a few pointers:

1) Foreigners know how to pick one another up and establish our classical long lasting relationships, once the necessary introductions are made.
 
2) Casual relationships don’t exist here folks, no matter how liberal of a person you are dealing with. A love-‘em-and-leave-‘em-type is the exception to the rule.
 
3) While most of the younger folks are more promiscuous than their older counter parts, it is no where near the degree that we are accustomed to.  Remember there are people back home who agonize about premarital sex, and we’ve had a much longer history with it than our good hosts have.  Tread lightly before entering into any romantic engagements.
 
4) Koreans tend to obsessive. I’ve heard of people changing phone numbers, beeper numbers, addresses, and places of employment because Koreans, male and female alike, have stalked them.
(Tips for Lovers continued on page 4)
 (Tips for Lovers continued from page 3)
 
5) The norm is that after two dates, you never hear from your Korean friend again.  That’s because the longer you date someone, and the more intimate you become with someone, the closer you get to MARRIAGE!  Yes that’s right – MARRIAGE! 
 
6) After the age of 26 the pressure to get married is enormous.  Parentally arranged "blind meetings" are still very popular. Our intentions are viewed with suspicion.
 
7) A man cannot be younger than his date or be more than four years older than she is.  Always find out the age of the Korean first, and then supply the appropriate age, if you are serious about a relationship.  After you are married the truth can be told.
 
8) Because of the arranged marriages, extramarital affairs are relatively common.  In our eyes, sad but true.
 
9) Common greetings:Comm  ?????  ?  (Chom-shim do-syot seyo?), or ),Have you eaten lunch?Ha  Another common greeting on the street is  com  ???? ? (Oe-di ga-say-yo?), or (OWhere are you going??h 
 
10) It may be embarrassing for your date to be seen by roommates, or the It  ? (yoe-gwan) proprietor. Video bangs are the most ready solutions, cars, alleyways, and even the bird sanctuary at the southern end of the subway line are all popular lover(ys spots in Korea.  Once a date agrees to accompany you to a video bang, a clear signal has been sent, and visa-versa.
 
11) Korean boyfriends and girlfriends call each other EVERYDAY!  And so should you if you want to be successful.
 
12) Some other useful Korean lines of Romance:
Do you have the time?Do y  ???? ? (Shi-gan it-sa-yoe?) Can I buy you a coffee? (Shi  ??   ????? ?? (Ko-fee han-jan ha-shil-ka-yoe?
Can I buy you dinner? Can   ??   ??   ????? ?? (Ja-nyok shik-sa ga-chi ha-shil-ka-yoe?)
You are very handsom. You ar  ????!  ! (Dang-shin-eun mut-sit-a-yoe!)
You are very beautiful. iful.   ?????! ve! (Dang-shin-eun a-rum-dap-geun-yoe!
I want to buy some flowers. I   ???. . (Kot it-so-yoe.) Literally: Do you have flowers?
Would you like to dance? Would you ? (Ch(Cum-chumu shil-ka-yoe?)
I want to see you again. I wa  ??? ?  ???. . (Da-shi man-na-go ship-o-yoe.
I love you. I love you.  (Sa-rang ham-ni-da) [Very polite.]   ??   ??.. (Sa-rang hae-yoe.) [Less polite]
Íb_d  ? (Sa-rang hae.) [Very familiar]
I want to kiss you. I wa  ???. . (Kiss hal-rae-yoe.)
I want to hold you. I want  ?????. o . (Dang-shin-eul an-go-ship-o-yoe.)
LetLes sleep together. sleep   ???. . (Jam-ja-ru gap-shi-da.)  [Not really used, except by younger Koreans.]
I want to buy some condoms. I wa  ???? ? (Kon-dom it-so-yoe?) Literally: Do you have any condoms?
A room for the night please. A   ???? ? (Bang it-sa-yoe?) Literally: Do you have a room?

The Korean was accomplished with great assistance fromTh  ?  ? (Kim Eun-hee) and   (  ?  ? (Kim Sun-young)  Any errors, however, are entirely mine.