As a westerner, it is natural to wince when you first hear the number of hours Korean students spend at school-- 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. or maybe 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. then English hagwon at 6:00 and computer hagwon at 7:00. One English teacher I know was even approached to teach a private lesson at 11:00 p.m. "It's the perfect time," said the boy's father, "my son's just getting home from school." Another teacher says he has a student whose mother follows him to class and puts ice on his eyes whenever he starts to nod off.
After shaking our heads and thinking, "Poor students," the next thought may well be "poor teachers... poor me!" Yes, it's even a line from a classic blues song, "I've been working from seven to eleven every night, it sorta makes my life a drag." It's one of the ultimate foes of our culture (especially American culture) to have our leisure time infringed upon.
Although it has taken some time to get used to, I've found that by developing a friendship with my students, the long days have become bearable and even enjoyable. The distinction between work and pleasure becomes blurred. I find while I'm preparing for class the students will hover around me at the photocopier, give their half English, half Korean salutations and launch into some wild goofing off. I now realize that this is some of their only "in-between" time-- time I used to spend after school playing basketball with my friends, these kids spend running and screaming around the hagwon. Joining in on this goofing off (to the mild disgruntlement of the hogwon boss) improves life in several ways. First, it is an excellent way to pick up a little Korean, especially the un-pc phrases. From "babo," or fool, to words I won't repeat here. Your students will become excellent and open minded Korean teachers. Second, the more energy they expend wrestling before class, the less energy they will have to roll around on chairs and punch you during the lesson.
In the case of the older students, high school age to adult, the variables are different, but the principle is the same. Accept friendship on Korean terms, and receive Korean benefits. Admittedly, it's more complicated with the adults due to the potential material rewards English speakers can glean from a friendship with Koreans. Some westerners I talk to say, "It's not that I don't want to be friends, it's that they're not really interested in who I am. I might as well take the money, the free dinner, the movies, or whatever else." It is almost impossible not to indulge in at least a little opportunism. Still, even the adult students are under incredible pressure and time constraints. Ajumas come to class after a hard day of both a professional job and maintaining their households. Businessmen study for an hour very early in the morning to remain competitive. In addition, college students can be almost maniacal about getting a chance to practice their English with native speakers. Here again it might help to loosen our grip on our usual sense of identity. When it's time to drink with the businessmen, be the teacher who drinks. When it's time to hike with the ajummas, be the teacher who hikes.
The definition of friendship itself changes under these circumstances. One of the Korean employees at my hagwon, trying as best as he could to put it into English said, "Korea is a group society." These words can't be underestimated. Here, you are what you do, inside and outside class. This means, as a teacher, you always have significance, as such, in the eyes of your students. Show you're willing to participate in their sense of camaraderie, and you can be included in their fun and even be respected.