I will assume that everyone knows a little something about stress. Further, I will assume that I do not need to convince anyone that living in a foreign culture is inherently stressful. In fact, I would wager that is one of the most stressful events that can occur in one of our lives. So, I want to talk about how you can calculate the degree of distress that you may be experiencing and what you can do about it.
Stress is the mental and physiological reactions to change, sometimes called the flight-or-fight response. Stress is not good, or bad. The reactions to the changes are what concern us most. The cause of stress is a stressor. The mental and physiological changes that form in response to stressors are termed stress reactivity. Some responses are increases in muscle tensions, heart rate, neural excitability, sodium retention, perspiration, serum glucose, hydrochloric acid in the stomach, and urination, other responses include higher blood pressure, less saliva, changes in respiratory rates, and changes in brain waves. If we do not use these stress products, they eventually damage our health. While these products help us react swiftly when we need to, when we do not use these products, they begin to hurt us. The greater the duration of these reactions, and the more extreme these reactions, the greater likelihood that serious harm will result.
Following are some symptoms of physical reactions that may indicate high levels of distress are present in your life. They include tension headaches, migraine headaches, stomachaches, cold hands, acidic stomach, shallow rapid breathing, diarrhea, heart palpitations, shaky hands, burping, gassiness, increased urge to urinate, sweaty feet or hands, oily skin, fatigue, dry mouth, backache, neck stiffness, grinding teeth, constipation, nausea, menstrual distress, skin blemishes, pounding heart, or indigestion.
Some behavioral signs that indicate you are trying to cope with stress are increases in drug or alcohol use, changes in eating habits, unwanted changes in weight, increases or decreases in sexual activity, or increased irritability.
A simple model of stress reactivity would be:
Life situation -> Perceived as stress ->
Emotional arousal -> Physical Arousal ->
Consequences
To successfully combat stress, interventions can be made at each stage of the model.
Events occur in all of our lives that are beyond our control. Frequently, these things cause us stress. Some of these are big events, like the death of a loved one, moving to a new country, getting a new job doing something completely new and strange, or coping with a new language. You get the idea. Then we have the little things, like traffic jams, noise, good students, bad students, late buses, etc. These are called daily hassles. Daily hassles actually are potentially more dangerous because they are experienced more often.
Easier said than done, I know. But, if you look carefully at your life, you can find ways of minimizing your contact both with daily hassles, and more stressful events. Look at the times you go to bed and get up in the morning, the route you take to work, when you prepare for your day, or when you eat your meals, each of these things, and many more can minimize your daily hassles.
If you can anticipate big changes, then you can decide whether you need to make those changes, or if they are avoidable at all.
Discuss these things with a friend or write some of it down. Either way, it can be easier to see when or where to minimize these types of stressors if you get them out into the open.
Find something that you like in every situation and in every person. In both the classroom and in your students, in your director, in the bus driver, in the ajuma at the market, whereever you are and whatever it is you are doing, find something you like about the person you are dealing with and the situation you are in. Acknowledge the hassle and the stress and the discomfort and whatever other emotion you are experiencing along with it, and then acknowledge what it is you like. It makes the situation go more easily. It lifts the spirit. It improves the memory of the event.
Find some treat for yourself that is not going to produce more stress, i.e. do not go out and get totally drunk as a treat, do not go out and sleep with four different people in one night as a treat, do not spend 200,000 won as a treat, do not skip teaching a class as a treat. Do something that is going to be enjoyable, that eases your stress and does not contribute to it. It makes the weeks and months go by much more easily, if you do so.
Pick out one event, either a daily hassle or a major life event, and ask yourself the following series of questions. Whose problem is it? Can I change the situation? If yes, make a plan of how to do it. If no, find a way to see the situation differently. Is there any humor here? Is it a lesson for you? Does the situation have meaning for you in some way other than as a hassle? You get the idea. Use your imagination and ask yourself more questions.
For example, I was very alarmed by the traffic upon my arrival. But, since I started to think of Korean driving as being imaginative and bold, rather than dangerous, the situation seems less threatening and more amusing and definitely less stressful.
You do not have to think those thoughts. Once you realize this idea, and can remember it, as you become emotional, then you can begin to react healthfully to distressing situations.
Try to find some expression for you emotional reactions. Do not judge your emotional reactions. Accept what you are feeling as valid, and express it. The expression must be socially acceptable. Do not commit acts of violence against yourself, others or inanimate objects (unless its okay to break them). Do not commit criminal acts. If you do either of these things, not only are you are making more stress for yourself and those around you, but you are showing that you are having a BIGproblem coping with your life here.
Alternatives to the old ways of expressing your emotions may be to write, draw, talk or roll play. Use your imagination, and get what ever is on the inside outside. You might consider being more assertive and less shy or aggressive. Developing better communication skills, especially with your Korean colleagues. If you are experiencing stressors that you do not understand, bring them up with your Korean friends in a friendly and curious way. Maybe a good, but not obvious, reason exists for these things are happening.
Remember to smile! Even when a class is going sour on me, I look at the class and wonder why, and I let a big grin come across my face and I smile, smile, smile. The class goes more easily after that. When I do not understand what someone at a store is saying or am confused as to why something is happening to me, I become very polite, and I smile. It all goes a little more easily. Does it help anything get resolved in my favor? Maybe, but it makes it go more easily.
The two most important aspects of combating stress are exercise and relaxation. Not only relaxing and exercise, but also doing both in ways that is helpful and not hurtful to you. Consider your daily routine, and try to find some easy mild forms of exercise that you can do, especially if you are not one to have exercised much before. Learn some progressive relaxation techniques, i.e. ask someone you know, they certainly are popular enough, certainly someone knows something, otherwise write or call me and I will mail you instructions.
Endorphins are wonderful things; they are natural painkillers. We need them to deal with stress. You can walk and produce endorphins, and we all know how much walking we must do here. Walk a little more briskly for twenty minutes, that is all you have to do. Skip the bus, get off one stop earlier, go around the block, whatever, but get that walk in. While you are walking think about the beauty around you, its there, and you can see it, if you try. It makes the day go more easily.
Become the careful observer of your physical self. Where does your body hold stress and tension? What does it feel like, how can you change that feeling? Are there sensations that you feel before, during, or after stressful events, that you can recognize? What are the thoughts or sensations occurring before, during or after stressful events? How can you prevent these sensations?
Stress is pervasive in our lives, and to some degree is necessary and helpful. What we seek to do is strike a balance between stress that helps us accomplish our goals and that which is hurtful. Raising your awareness of the amount of stress you are experiencing and its source will help you intervene and minimize the amount of stress that is hurtful in your life.
If you want any more information coping with stress, exercise, relaxation techniques, ways of changing your perceptions, feel free to contact me.