While you were sleeping
A compilation of international oddness
By Jon Marshall

 Vice Watch

To better serve teenagers caught in the transition years between candy bars and contraband, along come beadies, a new kind of “natural” cigarette flavored with essences of chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and grape. Word is they taste more like ice cream than tobacco but contain more nicotine and tar than regular cigarettes. 

The best beer in Pakistan—by law, the country’s ONLY beer—is Minoo Bandara. Their sales, however, are small since only three per cent of Pakistan’s 130 million people are not Muslim and therefore allowed to consume alcohol.

Legal News

We can all breathe a sigh of relief that another impeachment process is over. Pluto remains a planet, even though some astronomers wanted to remove it from galactic office and strip it of its planetary status.

Be fruitful and multiply. In Japan approval of the birth control pill has been considered for over 30 years, with no resolution in sight. It took Viagra all of six months to hit the shelves. And just in time for Mardi Gras, a Louisiana state appeals court struck down a 194-year-old sodomy law on the grounds that it violated the privacy rights of consenting adults. Oral and anal sex are no longer felonies. Meanwhile in Singapore, Muslims were told by their religious leaders not to celebrate Valentine’s Day because it did not originate in Islam.

Just when you thought it was safe to eat meat again, irradiated meat has taken another step towards the American supermarket shelf. The U.S. Department of Agriculture has approved the controversial process of destroying bacteria in food. But, for a number of reasons, they still can’t hawk the stuff on Korean streets. A new law prohibits street vendors from using loudspeakers to sell their wares. Violators face a 500,000 won fine.
 
High Crimes

Rest assured, Tammy Wynette died from natural causes and there is no reason to exhume her body for an autopsy, a medical examiner said. No natural causes, however, could explain the tastes of David Harker, 24. He was sentenced to life in prison in Newcastle, England after admitting to murdering a 32-year-old woman and eating parts of her thighs with pasta and cheese. Police found her torso in a garbage bag, but never found her legs, arms, or head. Harker had told over 25 people what he had done, but none had believed him due to the horrific nature of the crime.

“I don’ like de funeral. Dey are too sad,” was not uttered by Canada’s Prime Minister, Jean Chretien, but one supposes it could have been. Many Canadians were outraged when their leader did not turn up at Jordan’s funeral for King Hussein. Guess there were no cheap flights out of Banff that day.
FuzzyStuff      
Voters in Beverly Hills will soon decide whether to force manufacturers to label fur coats indicating how the animal was killed. Such a label would identify the kill method as poisoning, neck-breaking, electrocution, gassing, or clubbing. 

In other furry news, a pair of rare tiger cubs is all the rage at the Everland Zoo. The six month old white tigers, Ju-lu, and Ju-lie, made their debut in February and have been delighting visitors ever since. White tigers are an endangered species. They have chocolate or black stripes over white fur and green or blue eyes. “We wanted to permanently preserve this rare breed,” said animal keeper Lee Byoung Cheol, and the zoo began its breeding program. 

The Home Team Advantage

During the New York Knicks home game opening on Feb. 7 against the Miami Heat, a fan threw money at the players. While a ball boy gave the money back to the fan, Marcus Camby put some of it in his sock.  If that wasn’t bad enough, the fans booed the Knicks City Dancers because they added six male dancers this season.

Doesn’t it make you proud? In San Antonio, with more than two dozen relatives at her bedside on her 107th birthday, Ruperta Urresta Hernandez became the oldest person to take the oath of American citizenship. She wanted the right to vote.